10/12/03

Anonymous asked: this is to the girl who is worried about her boyfriend going limp while putting on the condom. Im a guy and the i know the first couple times when i was about to have sex it happened to me. Its just insecurity and nervousness. My first time was miserable to say the least, and it was hard for me to stay hard when putting on a condom after that. Oral wasnt a problem, just like your boyfriend. Its all about making him comfortable, tell him to relax and enjoy it and to not overthink it. If he is anything like me, he's probably thinking or worried he isnt good enough to make you happy, you need to make him know he is. It wont be a instant switch, so just take it slow and it will work out in the end.

Thank you for the awesome response!

Staff B

10/12/03

Anonymous asked: I sent this question in a week or so ago, but I must have done something wrong and it did not send.

4-5 years ago, when I was 14 years old, my 17 year old boyfriend and I tried to have sex. It wasn’t working, though. He would try to put his penis in me, but it would not go in. He was of average size, so I thought something was wrong with me. We tried multiple times over a period of time, and I can remember it hurting a few times, and once I bled. My period just ended a few days before that, so I thought maybe it was just my period. Despite all of this, I have never been sure if he really went in me. And if he did, it must have been very little. Please help me.

Staff B

This is the common problem with people losing their virginity.  Some people will tell you that the first time always hurts, no matter what.  The truth is, however, this is false.  Sex should never hurt!  Ever! 

That time you bled was actually your hymen tearing, which is a sign that you are too tense and probably not using enough lubricant.  Invest in some water based lubricant and try to relax next time.  Remember, pain is as much psychological as it it physical.  If you think it’s gonna hurt, your body will tense up and you will feel pain.  Relax, take your time, and don’t let it hurt!

10/12/03

Anonymous asked: HELP!! i'm seventeen and have been with my boyfriend for over a year. we've come pretty close to having a sex a few times but right when he goes to put a condom on he goes flaccid. and he says it's nothing i did or do, but i can't help feeling like it is. however when i give him head he is perfectly fine. do you have an explanation for why this happens, and how i can help him or what he can do? thanks:)

Staff B

What it could be is that some brands of condoms use oils that are meant to numb the penis during sex.  The purpose of this is to make the man last longer, but some guys have bad reactions to it.  Try switching your condom brand and see if that helps.

Also, a big part of this that could help is simple communication.  Your man is most likely feeling incompetent because he can’t get it up for you, causing him to stress out more than usual.  Be gentle and patient with each other.  The more relaxed both of you are, the more likely the problem will diminish.

10/12/01

Anonymous asked: To the last person who asked about the STI thing.

It sounds like a yeast infection to me. Always get checked to be sure.

Thank you for the tip! (A thank you as well to the person that replied to the message given).

Hopefully that is all it is.

Apologies for any scare that it may have been an STI but as mentioned here, getting checked to be positive you don’t have one can never hurt.

-Staff C

10/12/01

Anonymous asked: Please answer this ASAP; I'm pretty worried.

My labia minor, clitoral hood, and clitoris are red and inflamed. They itch and feel better when I apply a cold, wet washcloth. However, I have no idea what is going on. I have no vaginal discharge of any kind, and I know I don't have a UTI because I know what those feel like. This is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I haven't had sex in over a month, so I don't see how it could be an STI or anything...Plus I think I would be showing more symptoms, in that case. The only thing I've been doing differently is growing out my pubic hair. That's always itchy when it grows out...Do you think it could have really irritated my inner lips like that? Please answer!

While growing out your pubic hair the area where the hair is growing out can become agitated and also very itchy. However, inflammation is not generally one of these signs.

The fact that it has been over a month since you have had sex does not make it a given that you do not have an STI. STI’s are fickle things, there is not a set time that there is an outbreak of symptoms and there are also times where you will have no symptoms what so ever until the day that you do have an outbreak.

Also, discharge is not a sure sign of an STI.

It’s possible that you don’t have an STI. The only way to be 100% about what the root of the issue is - see your doctor. The sooner you do the sooner you can be diagnosed and recieve treatment for whatever you may have.

-Staff C

10/12/01

kaekmonster asked: okay this is from a LONG time ago but there was a post about the ultimate male ejaculation if you didn't do anything for three weeks. The question was brought up if this would also work for a woman. I wanted to try this with my boyfriend. He made it 2 weeks and 3 days-- I made it the whole 3 weeks. We usually have sex at least 3 times a week maxing out at 2 times a day.
Him-- It was awesome (but he masturbated and wished he had waited for the sex) He said it was the best and longest orgasm he has had masturbating.
Me- it was more painful than usual and harder for me to orgasm than normal.

I think we're going to try it again in a couple months. Because my pain may have been a side-effect of being pregnant.

I’m glad to hear that it worked for at least one of you!

Let us know how it goes the next time around, hopefully with no pain or discomfort on your part.

If any one else has tried this, go ahead and let us know!

-Staff C

10/12/01

Anonymous asked: so masturbating 1-2 times per week above the masturbation average means you have an addiction? lol cool blog.

Not necessarily.

For more about addicion click here: http://sexhelphotline.tumblr.com/post/1984227909/regarding-masturbation-addiction

And, thank you! We appreciate any and all criticism or comments, both good and bad.

-Staff C

10/11/30

Tumblr Tuesday!

Don’t forget to recommend Sex Help Hotline for Educational on the Directory.

Here’s the link!

10/11/30

Regarding masturbation addiction.

A question was recently answered by our Staff B about how much masturbation is too much masturbation.

There were several concerns that were voiced regarding the answer given so, here at sexhelphotline, we wanted to clear a few things up.

Though maturbation can most definitely be a healthy way to stay in touch with your body and be a natural expression of sexuality it can also cross the line into addiction.

Some signs that you may have an addiction to masturbation (referred to as compulsive masturbation) in addition to doing it out of boredom and loneliness are:

-The activity creates a disruption in your normal life. For example, you cannot meet life’s responsibilities such as appoinments or work as a direct result of maturbation.

-You are unable to have normal relationships with those around you.

-Having constant conversations or thoughts about the next time you will masturbate.

All of these things indicate that you may have an addiction. These do not only apply to compulsive maturbation but to any addiction which can range any where from video games to soda.

If the above do not apply to you, anon, then more likely than not, you are not suffering from addiction. However, keep in mind that a facet of being an addict is complete denial that you are one.

If you do feel that these apply to you and that you may have an addiction there are groups that are aimed at helping treat addiction. Look for a Sexaholics Anonymous support group near you or call the National Sexual Compulsives Anonymous number at 1-800-977-HEAL to help you find a support group.

-Staff C

10/11/30

Anonymous asked: I'm a girl and 17, not sure if that's relevant, but anyways I was wondering if it is healthy to masturbate five or six times a week.

Staff B -

It’s not necessarily unhealthy, but you do have to be wary of the possibility of masturbation addiction.  Remember that the average person masturbates about 3 to 4 times per week.  Don’t let yourself masturbate out of boredom or loneliness, it could become a problem.

Try to use your time alone constructively!  Pick up an old hobby or exercise.  If you try that and you still feel like it’s a problem, seek professional help.  Masturbation Addiction is a serious problem!

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